Zohran the DSA Radical Wants to Bankrupt NYC and Call it Progress

Mamdani's economic plan makes a Ponzi scheme look fiscally responsible

So there I was, minding my own business, drinking my coffee and reading the paper like a normal human being, when I see this story about Zohran Mamdani and nearly choked on my bagel. This 33-year-old socialist wonder boy wants to spend TEN BILLION DOLLARS on free stuff for everyone in New York City. Ten billion! That's more money than most countries have, and this kid thinks he can just wave a magic wand and make it appear.

The Shopping List From Hell

Let me break down this lunatic's Christmas wish list for you, because the details are absolutely hysterical. This genius wants to spend between $5 billion and $7 billion just on universal childcare. JUST on childcare! That's like buying a Ferrari for every kid in the city and then wondering why your credit card got declined

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But wait, there's more! He also wants free buses for everyone, which would cost the MTA about $900 million a year. Because apparently, the subway system that's already falling apart needs even less revenue. Smart thinking there, Einstein.

Oh, and he's creating a whole new "Department of Community Safety" that would cost another $450 million. Because what New York really needs is more bureaucrats with fancy titles doing God knows what for half a billion dollars a year. This department would handle mental health crisis intervention, homelessness outreach, and traffic ticketing. So basically everything the police already do, but with more meetings and sensitivity training.

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And here's my personal favorite: he wants to open FIVE city-run food stores at a cost of $60 million. Five stores! For $60 million! That's $12 million per store! You could build a Whole Foods with a gold-plated shopping cart dispenser for that kind of money. But no, let's have the same people who can't fix a pothole run grocery stores. What could possibly go wrong?

But Wait, There's Even More Insanity

As if that wasn't enough to make your head spin, this boychik also wants to TRIPLE the housing budget from $30 billion to $90 billion. NINETY BILLION DOLLARS! For housing! That's not a budget, that's a ransom note to the entire city.

His brilliant plan is to triple affordable housing production by throwing money at it like he's at a strip club with daddy's credit card. Because everyone knows the best way to solve complex urban planning problems is just to multiply the budget by three and hope for the best

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The Math That Would Make a Calculator Cry

Now here's where it gets really rich. This financial mastermind thinks he can pay for all this by raising corporate taxes from 7.25% to 11.5% and adding a 2% tax on wealthy people. He expects this to bring in about $9.4 billion a year. You notice something funny about that number? His spending plans cost MORE than his tax revenue!

It's like planning a wedding that costs $50,000 when you only have $40,000, except instead of one embarrassing night, we're talking about bankrupting an entire city. At least when people overspend on weddings, they only ruin their own lives.

And that's assuming the wealthy people and corporations just sit there like idiots while he picks their pockets. Because nothing says "please stay in New York" like jacking up taxes during a time when rich people are already fleeing to Florida faster than rats off a sinking ship

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The Reality Check Nobody Asked For

The business community is basically pulling their hair out trying to explain basic economics to this guy. The Business Council of New York State pointed out that people are already leaving the city in droves, and Mamdani's brilliant solution is to give them even more reasons to pack up and move.

Kathryn Wylde from the Partnership for New York City basically called him a delusional child in the politest way possible. She said his plans might get him elected but he'll "bump into reality" once he's in office. That's corporate speak for "this kid is completely off his rocker."

Even David Paterson, who knows a thing or two about political disasters, said Mamdani sounds great until you realize "there's no such thing as Santa Claus." Coming from a guy who was governor during the financial crisis, that's like getting a lecture on fiscal responsibility from someone who lived through actual economic collapse

The Approval Process That Will Never Happen

But here's the really delicious part of this whole fantasy. Even if this socialist dreamer somehow gets elected, he still needs Governor Hochul to approve his tax increases. You know, the same Governor Hochul who has repeatedly promised NOT to raise income taxes.

It's like asking your vegetarian friend to help you plan a barbecue. Technically possible, but you're probably going to be disappointed with the results.

And then, THEN, he'd need the state legislature to let New York City borrow even more money on top of the $99.4 billion we already owe. Apparently, being nearly $100 billion in debt isn't quite enough red ink for one city.

The Endorsement That Says Everything

Oh, and who thinks this plan is brilliant? Jamaal Bowman! You remember him, right? The former congressman who got kicked out of office faster than you can say "fire alarm incident." Getting an endorsement from Bowman is like getting a driving recommendation from someone whose license was revoked for DUI.

The Socialist Math That Doesn't Add Up

Let's just run through this one more time, because the numbers are so ridiculous they bear repeating:

Universal childcare: $5-7 billion
Free buses: $900 million
Department of Community Safety: $450 million
Five magical grocery stores: $60 million
Housing budget increase: $60 billion more

Total fantasy spending: Over $70 billion in new money

Expected new revenue: $9.4 billion

It's like trying to buy a mansion with your lunch money. The math is so far off it's not even wrong, it's just absurd.

Wake Up and Smell the Economic Reality

This is what happens when someone who's never run so much as a lemonade stand thinks they can manage the budget of the largest city in America. Mamdani's plan isn't progressive, it's regressive back to the age when people believed in economic fairy tales.

The guy won't even sign a resolution condemning the Holocaust, but he wants us to trust him with $70 billion in spending increases. He runs away from reporters asking basic questions, but expects us to believe he can negotiate with unions, Albany, and the federal government.

New York City doesn't need a socialist Santa Claus promising free everything while the city drowns in debt. We need someone who understands that money doesn't grow on trees and that good intentions don't pay bills.

But somehow this amateur is running second in the polls behind Andrew Cuomo, who had to resign in disgrace. What does that tell you about the state of New York politics? We're choosing between a disgraced former governor and a guy who thinks economics is optional

.At this point, I'm starting to think we deserve whatever disaster we vote for. Just don't come crying to me when your taxes go through the roof and half the city moves to Texas.

The audacity is breathtaking. The incompetence is staggering. And the fact that people are actually considering voting for this is absolutely terrifying.

Wake up, New York. This isn't progress. This is economic suicide with a progressive bow tied around it.

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